


Please?

by ElloPoppet



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Communication, Established Relationship, Fluff, Hydra (Marvel), Light Angst, M/M, Pet Names, Short & Sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-11
Updated: 2019-02-11
Packaged: 2019-10-26 04:15:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17738816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElloPoppet/pseuds/ElloPoppet
Summary: James Barnes can never tell Clint Barton that he loves him.Not by choice, mind you. Because if he could, Bucky would shower his partner with those words every day, would press them into Clint's skin with his lips over and over again.No, Bucky can't tell Clint that he loves him because Hydra made it so.





	Please?

James Barnes can never tell Clint Barton that he loves him. 

Not by choice, mind you. Because if he could, Bucky would shower his partner with those words every day, would press them into Clint's skin with his lips over and over again. 

No, Bucky can't tell Clint that he loves him because Hydra made it so. 

"There will never be use for things such as love or affection for you, Soldat. You may remember what these things feel like now, but rest assured; we will deprogram them from your existence."

It had been one of the first things they had done to him in their effort to disintegrate his humanity. Now, Shuri had done a brilliant job of removing his trigger words, and Bucky would never be able to thank her enough, but what she couldn't manage was ridding him of the bile that would rise in Bucky's throat when he tried to choke out certain phrases. 

"I miss you."  
"Please don't leave me."  
"I need you."  
"You are my world."  
"I love you."

Bucky was sure that there were more, and he tracked them on a piece of paper stuck to their refrigerator with an old and yellowed 'I <3 NY' magnet. He never knew when it would happen, which phrases would create the painful electrical shock in his body or his stomach acid to purge from his throat. 

He couldn't even sign them, and Bucky found that to be ridiculously unfair. Hell, he had to spell the phrases out to Clint over days in order for the words to be added to the list. 

Some things slipped through. Pet names and newer slang came out of his hands and lips just fine. So at any opportunity, he lavished Clint with 'sweetheart' and 'doll' and even 'darling.' Other times, he'd had to get creative and/or ridiculous.

 

"I love you," Clint huffed over the coms during battle after watching Bucky nearly get his head taken off by a cyborg.

"You're my ride or die," Bucky had said back. 

 

"I love you," Clint yelled joyously when unwrapping his Nintendo Switch for Christmas. 

"You're my favorite dork," Bucky replied through his grin. 

 

"Bucky...James...love you," Clint whispered in Bucky's ear and from inside Bucky's body. 

"Me too, Clint, Christ."

"Me, too."

*

Since Bucky couldn't say the words, he made it his personal mission to show Clint how much he loved him instead. In their three years of being together, Bucky had:

• Programmed all of Clint's favorite pizza places into both of their phones

• Taken over Lucky's morning walks so that Clint could sleep in

• Replaced all of the generic beige bandaids in Clint's first aid kits with brightly colored Dog Cops bandaids that he had found on a Japanese website

• Taken night classes and online tutoring in order to learn ASL as quickly as possible

• Put in a subscription order on Amazon for Clint's favorite coffee to be delivered to their place in Bed Stuy every 6 days (because that's how long a tin lasted) 

• Replaced everything that was blue in the apartment with its match in purple (Bucky had had to read Clint's file to understand why blue made him uneasy, but he had gotten there in the end) 

• Purchased a silver, scratch proof ring that should fit Clint's left ring finger perfectly

It was that last one that made Bucky nervous (to say the least).

*

Bucky proposed to Clint on a Tuesday evening in the living room of their apartment. 

It didn't go as Bucky had planned; he had planned on waiting for their four year anniversary the following week, but there was something about the way that the flickering light of the television illuminated Clint's scarred features that stole Bucky's breath away. 

"Clint."

"Yeah, babe?" Clint didn't bother look over, and Bucky watched as the love of his long life took a swig of beer from an amber glass bottle, eyes still fixed on whatever rerun had been playing during dinner. 

"Look at me, sweetheart?"

Clint did, even turned his body a bit in order to face Bucky straight on.

"Clint, will you-" Acid, burning like fire.

Bucky gulped, tried again.

"Would you maybe want to-" Bucky's body jerked once, violently, as his synapses were struck with lightening. 

"Aw, baby, fuck. Stop. I'll get the list and you can start with the letters, okay?" Clint started to rise from the couch, but Bucky put a hand on his thigh to stop him. 

"No, just wait here."

When Bucky returned from their bedroom and promptly dropped to one knee in front of Clint, extending the open ring box, he asked Clint to be his for the rest of his life in the only way he knew how.

"Please?"

And Clint was everywhere all of a sudden, wrapped around Bucky on the floor, laughing brightly enough to power the building. 

"Yes, you beautiful asshole, a trillion times yes!" 

The ring fit perfectly, just as Bucky knew it would, and Clint whispered over and over into the flesh of Bucky's throat. 

"I love you, I love you, I love you."

Bucky wrapped his arms around Clint's back, held on for dear life, and smiled.


End file.
